Every day is an adventure now!

Well yesterday I decided to get off my butt and go out to target since it was my day off and I needed a few things. However, my car had been sitting in the parking lot all day just getting hotter and hotter. For a normal person, this would be no big deal. Thinking I'm normal, I just get in and drive to the target (there is a new one about 7 minutes away).

By the time I get there, I am having a flush and palpitations and generally feeling crappy. But now when I feel this way, I get sort of panicked too, like something could really be wrong with me, because frankly, something could really be wrong with me. It all snowballs into a bad thing.

I get to target and I'm trying to park so I can run in to the cold air. Dude in front of me is driving so slow that I panic even more. I finally go around him and park in one of the handicapped spots and put my flashers on. I run into the store, fairly certain that I am going to pass out, but I just want to pass out in a public place so someone can call 911.

I'm lightheaded and drymouthed. I head to the water fountains not for a drink but just to get some liquid in my mouth. I compose myself for a second and call Rod to come pick me up because I can't drive. I wait a minute or two more, then head out to my car to move it from the handicapped spot. As soon as the heat hits me though, I think better of it, thinking the same thing will happen again. I turn around to head back in, and a lady with a child in her cart says, "can I asked why you parked in the handicapped spot?"

I say "I was having a carcinoid attack and I was afraid I was going to pass out." "What does that mean?" "I have carcinoid cancer, and I have these tumors on my liver, and they release hormones which make me feel like I am going to pass out. I already called my boyfriend and he is coming to get me. I was coming out to move my car but I thought I was going to pass out again so I was going back in."

She was pretty much stone faced the entire time, as tears are streaming down my face while I try to explain that I would never park there but it was an emergency. She finally said, "okay, go back in the store" but I'm pretty sure she reported the entire situation to the police.

Anyhow, Rod comes to get me and we head back home, but I just wasn't recovering well. I felt woozy, nauseous, anxious, restless, basically just not right. I started telling Rod all the things he would need to tell the people at the hospital in the event that I passed out. "Give me this med, but don't give adrenaline, call this doctor for further instructions, etc, etc." Then I tell him to put his shoes on and get my stuff ready. Then I start acting like I don't want to go to the hospital, procrastinating for another 30 minutes to see if I would feel better. I didn't, so we went, and as usual all my vitals and bloodwork is normal so basically there is nothing they can do for me.

I need to be on a drug called sandostatin, but I can't get anyone to give it to me! The Doc at Penn will eventually give it to me, but in the mean time I can barely leave my house without fear of such an event happening.

BLARGH!!!